Good morning sunshine,
We had plans. We had so many plans.

I don’t have regrets. None. I didn’t have anything left on the table that I had never told you. We lived and loved. We always said what we needed to and wanted to. We had a life together and a love for each other that I felt so lucky to have.

The only plans we didn’t do were things we were planning this year.

In our new home, we had many plans for this place. Garden beds. You were so excited to build them. You’d be so excited. My parents and I built them today. I hope to have a beautiful, bountiful garden in those raised beds. I’ll miss you next to me; pruning, weeding, watering.

I grilled today. Beats and pineapple and it all turned out great. Corn too! God you loved corn. You ate more corn than anyone I’ve ever met. You would have loved this corn, though. It was the best corn I’ve had in a very long time.

I wish you were here so badly. We got such good news from some billing departments. It would have put your mind at ease. I got a great deal on replacing those shitty fence posts and cutting a tree down. You would have liked the guy. He was honest, and fair.

You always used to scold me when I told you to raise your prices for lessons or watch your time more closely. You said that it was okay. You could give a kid or family a break so they could afford to get better. You always said that you got back what you gave, it was all okay. Honey. You must have given a hell of a lot, because I feel like I am receiving on your behalf and I feel like the good is raining down at times.

I cry a lot, but there have been happy tears too. You were a good man. My birthday is coming up, which means so is yours. I had a plan. I had a plan to order Bone Fish to go. It was our favorite place to celebrate. I had plans to a gift you would have loved. I had plans to be with you for the rest of my life.

I’m going to be okay baby. I’m going to make it work.