Saturday, May 16, 2020

Good morning Sunshine,
It’s almost six. I’ve been up for three hours because I can’t fall back asleep. Normally, I’d roll over and snuggle up. You’re not here to do that’s. What’s normal now? Just be awake at 3 am?

I think the garden beds are finally finished. The plants are in, the hail netting is up. That’s right, I finally thought ahead and was able to get hail netting.

I had to go to the bank yesterday and get a death certificate on file with them. Then I was going through your golf stuff. It’s hard. It’s like getting rid of pieces of you. If you were here you’d tell me it’s just stuff. You’d be happy it was going some place to be used and loved by someone else. Stuff and memories are all I have now, though. Nearly 9 years of a relationship reduced to what I can remember. My memory has never been great. I hope I can forever remember your voice saying my name or “hello beautiful” or “I love you more”.

The new kind of fuchsias I bought opened yesterday! Oh hun, they’re beautiful. I’m not sure they’d be your favorite but they are so unique.

It’s grilling season. It’s soon to be tiki torch season. I want you here more than anything. I crave to see you walk through the front door. Some times, it just feels like you’ve gone on a trip and I’ll see you soon. Then it all crashes down on me at once: you’re never walking through the front door again.

I love you.

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