Good morning Sunshine,
Sometimes I see you everywhere and it makes me sad. Sometimes I see you no where and it devastates me.

I went through the closet today. I packed your stuff away. There’s no handbook. There’s no best practices here. I wish you were here to still wear all of this. It just started hurting more to see it every day than it did to pack it away. You would have preferred to donate it all. I know that’s what you would have wanted. You were always a giving person. I wish I could be that way. Even just a little. I’m trying. I’m trying all over. Trying to keep the house up. Trying to get the garden going. Trying to be a good person even though I feel like a shell.

I was scrolling through Instagram stories and recognized a name one of the local garden centers had re-posted. We would have been rolling. My jaw dropped. I wanted to call you. Then I remembered I can’t. I want to call you so badly. I want to talk. What I wouldn’t do to have one more conversation. Then that wouldn’t be enough, would it? Even when you were here and we were coming home to each other, we’d check in mid day. We missed each other. We felt a pull to share our day a couple hours in. I wanted to share it all with you forever. I wish you were here next to me. I wish I could watch you play with the dogs again. I wish I could take some more pictures of the dogs and you passed out on the couch.

I love you.