Good morning Sunshine,

I find myself increasingly needing your advice. And it’s weird because I wouldn’t need it if you were here. 

Dating. 

What the fuck did I get myself into? I was ready to hate it and everyone I met. You would have told me to find the good. More than that baby, I think I found someone good. How is that possible? I was ready to never be with anyone ever again and then one day, I woke up and life was happening. You told me I could do this life without you. We never talked about what that included. Other people? Selling our home? I’m not selling our home, but maybe one day I’ll be looking down the barrel of a new family and it will be necessary. 

He is kind, and patient and understanding. He tells me I’m beautiful. He lets me cry when I need to. He’s hard working. He would take care of me. He asks about you. I think I’ve captured why I loved you the best I can. It’s hard to fit 9 years into a few sentences.

I have our wedding bands around my neck. I will always love you. I never went into this to replace you. Just to try and be happy again. I don’t want to be alone honey. All those years with you, it turns out, made me inclined to be with someone.

It’s early. I have no idea where this person and me are heading but I am happy with him right now. I’m focusing on that. 

The world is still so strange. My brain is still having trouble rectifying all that has happened this year. It seems so far away and then like yesterday. 

I love you. Always.