Good Morning Sunshine,
There’s good things happening. It feels weird to be happy and not have you to share it with.

The plants are doing so well! We had our first zucchini blossom and I went on a hunt to find a male flower to pollinate it with. It just felt important to try and have that first zucchini happen. The pumpkin looks so awesome. You would have been so excited! I know how much we were looking forward to planting that pumpkin seed. Oh honey I wish you could see it! Even if we don’t get a pumpkin, the plant itself is beautiful. If we get a pumpkin, you can bet I’ll enter it in the pumpkin weigh off. I don’t care if it’s half a pound.

I got the sprinkler system fixed. It was leaking a little. Then, I bought a new control panel and installed it myself. You would have shook your head and told me how good I was with “all that technology stuff”. Oh but baby it’s so cool! I can control the sprinklers from my phone! Just like the thermostat I installed when we first bought the townhouse. The grass isn’t really liking the water restrictions and heat. I’m trying though. Now that the sprinkler leak is fixed and I can keep the water on a schedule, hopefully it gets better.

The security camera keeps catching a skunk walking by. It’s the first thing I check for each morning. Instead of waking up to you, I wake up to looking for a skunk on the camera. Weird, but sometimes I feel like that skunk is here from you. Then, a couple nights ago, the raccoon that was trying to break into our attic came back! She wasn’t trying to rip into our house though. She just walked by...with her two babies! I told my parents that I think the lesson here is to not have a camera unless you really want to know what’s walking by.

I love you baby. I love you so much. I miss you every day. I miss sharing in happiness with you. I miss resting my head on your chest at night. I miss taking pictures of you and the boys. I miss getting pictures of the boys from you while I’m at work. I just miss you.

Good morning Sunshine,
It’s been a bit. Sometimes I have a lot to write and get out of my head. Sometimes I don’t. I never stop thinking about you. Moments are hard and harder. There is nothing easy right now. Still. I still want to call you. I still want to text you. I wait for you to send me a funny video on messenger.

Last night I watched a couple get engaged and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I came across three states to get away from things and I feel you closer than ever. I also miss the boys. I go back tomorrow and I’ll be so excited to be with them again.

I’m trying to figure out how to go to Yellowstone. You were my everything. My best friend, our dogs’ best friend. My handyman. My love. I was always at peace knowing the dogs were with you. Now I don’t know what to do.